THE TRAUMA OF PLACING HER HUSBAND IN A NURSING HOME
I hope this article will inspire and give hop to others who need to live in harmony with decisions that are hard to make..
"Jean" was a loving gentle person who felt that her life had fallen apart since having to make the decision to place her husband in a nursing home.
Her husband was diagnosed with ALS and it was inevitable that soon he would need more care than she could give him. Around the same time that her husband went to live in the nursing home her daughter left home, her friends and family pulled away from her and were not there to give her support, and she lost the job she had held for 25 years.!!!
Jean had frequent dreams where she was slipping, falling and disappearing.
We started tapping:
"My life has fallen apart, and I'm losing my grip."
"Even though my world fell apart I must be quite amazing because I'm still here to tell the story."
"But I do feel like I fell apart, that everything's slipping away."
"Even though I had to put my husband in a nursing home and part of me felt I was letting him down, I love and accept myself anyway."
"I put my husband in a nursing home and felt like I was letting him down even though I knew it was the next step to take."
"It still hurts that the one I love is no longer with me."
"Many friend left me just when I really needed them."
"I guess if they really were friends they would still be here for me."
" I felt abandoned and so alone."
"I feel God let us down, how can this happen?"
"How can this be happening?"
"My life is upside down."
This is too much for one person to handle."
We talked about the abandonment that she felt when her family didn't support her during this time. She recounted many times of feeling abandoned as a child. We proceeded to work on releasing anger, and making way for forgiveness.
"Even though my family isn't the way I want them to be, I'm still wonderful anyway."
"How dare my family be who they are, instead of the way I want them to be, after all I know what's best."
After a few rounds Joan moved into forgiveness of her family with an ease that surprised her.
Next I asked her what was a major moment of trauma that came to mind. She mentioned the worst moment was hearing the diagnosis from the doctor. They had had no previous warnings about the diagnosis to come.
Her intensity was about a 15 on a scale of 0-10.
We tapped on seeing and hearing the doctor say:
"Its terminal. at the best 10 years, at the worst 1 year."
"Lost and sinking."
"Had to tell the kids."
"It was a nightmare."
"It was a death sentence."
"It's a nightmare."
"Even though I have been trapped in the small picture, in the big picture there may be a beautiful story unfolding."
"We are 2 souls who came together to experience this experience."
"Although it may appear to be cruel and without purpose, there are no mistakes, there is a reason here."
"My husband and I chose this probably future."
"His gift of giving his life in this way may somehow help others."
"I can write a beautiful story when we get to the other side of this, so I can empower and inspire others, showing them how they can handle catastrophic situations."
"Ultimately there is going to be something beautiful and wonderful in this experience for us
"As I look back on that day from hell I realize it was all in divine order."
"Maybe I'm not slipping and sinking any more."
"I'm stronger and wiser."
"I am now ready for a whole new life."
She ran a movie in her minds eye of the diagnosis day with no intensity.
It's always wonderful for me to help someone with this type of situation as I placed my own husband in a nursing home three months ago. I feel so fortunate to have EFT in my life and to be able to share its magic with others.
Thank you Gary!!!