HANDLING A FAMILY DISASTER
What would you do if you son shot another child?
This was precisely the plight of Aileen Nobles' client. Obviously, no one can undo the past but what we CAN do is shift from the debilitating shock of it all to a place of clarity and perspective. Note how expertly Aileen does this with EFT.
When “Spencer” walked into my office, I remembered we had worked together once before. At that time he was working on becoming stronger to better handle the divorce he was going through. He also had his 13 year old son living with him, and was commuting over 200 miles a day so that his son did not have to change schools and leave his friends.
This time when he walked in he was in tears. His son had shot and killed another boy at school. He was overwhelmed, still in shock, & filled with guilt and fear. Our goal was to move him out of his state of panic and into a place of being stronger and clearer. We started tapping.
I can't believe this is happening.
This can't be real.
My son is a good boy; I can't believe he did this.
At this point there were uncontrollable tears, and we just kept tapping until he felt able to say the words again.
I need to be strong for him.
I can't cope; I don't know how to be strong.
My son needs me to be strong, as I am the only one he can depend on.
This isn't about me; it's about me being there for my son.
I have been strong at other times in my life and now I need to find that strength once again.
I am putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward with strength.
I can do this, I have no choice, I am now getting stronger and stronger.
At the end of the session Spencer had a plan, and was feeling as if he now had the strength to do what needed to be done. By our next session, Spencer had taken care of finding the right lawyers, and had been able to visit his son and remain strong and loving. Now however, he was eaten up with guilt. We started tapping on:
This is all my fault, I failed my son.
If I had been a perfect parent this would never have happened.
I knew something had changed over the last few months and I didn't know why or what to do.
It's all my fault.
I wish I had been a perfect parent.
On the other hand I don't know what a perfect parent is.
Most of us wish we had perfect parents … but what is perfect?
Everyone does the best they can, given their own damage & limitations from their childhood.
I was struggling in my life, still trying to do the best I knew how.
And if I was to do it again with my consciousness now, I might do some things differently, but then I did all I was capable of doing, and I was definitely doing the best I knew how.
So I can't keep beating myself up for this, I did what I thought was best at those moments.
It doesn't help me to look back and beat myself up because I could have done things better.
I didn't…but I did the best I could with what I had.
I can't undo whets done, and I did what I thought was right at the time, so I don't deserve to beat up on myself.
It's not helping my son, and it's not helping me, & I have to be there for my son and I need to be here for me.
My son has his own soul journey to experience and free will to make choices, so I can't take the blame for his actions.
He made his own choice, and its one I definitely wish he hadn't made, but he did.
At this point we talked about karmic interactions between the soul of the deceased boy and Spencer's son. This aspect only helps if a person believes in reincarnation, and would not have been included if different beliefs were held.
In the bigger picture my son now has the opportunity to grow from this experience and become a wiser more loving human being.
I can say if I hadn't behaved and done what I did in raising him he would probably be different, however God doesn't make mistakes, and somehow everything is perfect in its seeming imperfection. It's all a part of my soul growth and my son's soul growth.
I did the best I knew how to be a good father and husband.
I was a much better father to my son than my father was to me.
I don't need to beat myself up and feel guilty any more.
Getting over it, letting it go, right now.
I am now strong and ready to step up to the plate.
I can do this; I now choose to be stronger than ever before.
Spencer's gratitude for EFT was humbling. The before and after was like night and day. He continues to be amazed at his own strength and clarity of thought.